Rhyme of the Day

Various meanderings with a rhyme in there somewhere.

The Plugged-In Wilderness
john_j_enright
Some years ago I was in Virginia, staying with my wife and some friends at a cabin in a valley where there was zero cell phone reception. But we were very near the Appalachian Trail, and I hiked up there, where you had a good view of the surrounding country, and all of a sudden I had a signal.

So I wasn't too surprised to see a story in today's paper about "staying plugged in" while hiking the Appalachian Trail. The story mentions dedicated bloggers who write posts about every blister.

'Laurie Potteiger, spokeswoman for the Appalachian Trail Conservancy' warns that '"Smartphones can steal your eyes away from the beauty around you."'

I like
to hike.

And I am not bored
when I cut the cord.

But I do like being able to connect.
Given a choice, it's what I'll elect.

Not Really A Doctor
john_j_enright
Sunday morning, I was at the ER with a relative who had bronchitis. Nurse asks if I'm a doctor.

This morning, I'm at another hospital for a colonoscopy, and two different people ask me if I work there.

I ought to get a white coat
and work some major fraud...
though maybe I should note
that's been outlawed.

Empirical Enumeration
john_j_enright
I gave a census to my senses,
and counted only five.
Some say a sixth is in the mix,
but that, I fear, is jive.

At least... it's yet to arrive.

Delivered
john_j_enright
It happened in Cheyenne:

'While the plane sat on the tarmac, pilot Gerhard Bradner called Domino's and ordered 38 pizzas — on his own dime — to be delivered to those stuck onboard waiting out the storm.'

The next time I fly
I hope that this guy
is in charge.

I'd like an extra large.

The Door Shut Behind Him
john_j_enright
It's the kind of situation where someone with a medical condition could have a serious problem:

"A man who came to visit his son was accidentally trapped inside an empty maximum security visiting area of Cook County Jail for about 30 hours over the weekend, authorities said on Tuesday."

His son had been moved. He thought he was following directions. But went into the wrong room and a door shut behind him. And it's a room that's not used on the weekends. So no one checked it... and no one could hear him banging on the "concrete door".

30 hours?

Finally, he came up with a solution that worked.

'"Brilliantly, he broke the sprinkler head off which alerted the fire department so they were able to identify where it was coming from and they went in and found him," Smith said.'

In case, by some mistake,
I'm ever in that boat,
I'm making a carfeul note
About the right thing to break.

Quickbooks
john_j_enright
Quickbooks Pro 2011 stopped working at one of my client's the other day. I'm still not sure why. It would seem to start... and then would just disappear.

It stopped being "supported" a couple of months ago, so maybe that had something to do with it. I couldn't "repair" it with the original CD, but today I was able to buy a new copy, of the 2014 version, online. And that version installed successfully, after my usual fumbling with "license keys" and so forth.

The online version was like 100 bucks cheaper than the same version in the store. It was "on sale for 2 days only". Well. Did I get very lucky on my timing? Or is it always "on sales for 2 days only" as a marketing gimmick?

Were we lucky it broke just then?
Anyway, it's working again.

Dreaming Up A Mess
john_j_enright
A friend asked what Ayn Rand would have had to say about this strange mess we've got at our southern border.

In her life, she often gave answers that surprised me, seizing on details of a situation that struck her as particularly significant. So I kind of wish I could hear what she would have to say.

She was a steady advocate of open immigration. She died before the southern border issue really heated up. I suppose that in response to the "overloaded safety net" argument, she would have recommended removing the so-called safety net, perhaps citing the success of 19th century immigration to this country.

God knows what she would have thought of this fiasco of Central Americans sending their minors across our border. It's one of these "unintended consequences" messes of grand proportions, a result of a very poorly-planned unilateral executive action. I suspect she would have seen both cynical calculation and sentimental altruism at work in the whole DREAM notion of giving amnesty just to children.

She sympathized with people coming here to make a productive life for themselves, but there's something crazy about kids being sent on life-endangering trips across our border.

You drove us into a ditch,
and declared it was only bad luck,
but here's the lingering hitch:
we're still stuck in the muck.

Charitable
john_j_enright
The headline says:

Clinton Says She's Donated All University Speaking Fees

And as you get into the story, you find out that she donated the fees to... her family foundation.

Ann Althouse asks a number of relevant questions, including, just for starters: "What is her salary from the foundation?"

The Washington Post reports that her standard fee is hefty:

'In one previously undisclosed transaction, the University of Connecticut — which just raised tuition by 6.5 percent — paid $251,250 from a donor fund for Clinton to speak on campus in April. Other examples include $300,000 to speak at the University of California at Los Angeles in March and $225,000 for a speech scheduled for October at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas.'

That's a lot to listen to anyone chatter,
but, at this point, what does it really matter?

Can't Beet This Research
john_j_enright
I'm not saying the science is settled, but:

Researchers from the University of Missouri found plants respond to attack. They discovered the sound of caterpillars eating made them more defensive. Plants that heard caterpillar sounds released more mustard oils, which are unappealing to caterpillars and thus ward them off.

I'm going to write a ballad,
about a tragic salad.

Lettuce hope you hear the call,
because some don't carrot all.

No Longer Funny?
john_j_enright
The road not taken:

"Katherine Heigl claims 'too many rom-coms' derailed her career"

She thinks she should have done some thrillers instead,
where someone was chasing her... but wanted her dead.

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