March 26th, 2008

Microwaved Babies In The News

I found not one, but two microwaved baby cases awaiting judicial resolution:
May. 23, 2007. GALVESTON, Texas - A baby girl was released from a hospital 11 days after police say she was burned in a motel microwave oven. The infant's mother blamed the devil for what happened, saying Satan compelled her husband to put the baby in the microwave.
The jury's still deliberating.
January 28, 2008. DAYTON, Ohio (AP) -- Jury selection began Monday in the trial of a woman accused of killing her 1-month-old daughter by burning the child in a microwave oven.
The judge declared a mistrial, but ordered a new trial to be scheduled.

Obviously this can't be the parents' fault.  They're just unhinged.  I blame the manufacturers!

Microwaves ought to come with infant detectors.
Or maybe all babies could be installed with microwave deflectors.

A Pile of IOU's

Yesterday I expressed concerns about Social Security's solvency.  Merjet commented:
The only "asset" the fund holds is federal government debt, mainly U.S. Treasury bonds or notes. They can only be redeemed from future tax revenues or by replacing them with newer Treasury bonds or notes.
I thought my money was safely locked.
Please don't tell me my funds have been hocked!

An Internashional Treasure

Amidst the noisy blog din,
is one devoted to singing the praises of Ogden.

Mr. Nash is who I mean,
one of the nimblest rhymesters ever seen.

I refer to a blog which is cleverly named: Blogden Nash

You may have noticed I'm influenced by him.  I remember him as a contemporary poet in my youth.

Wikipedia says:
At the time of his death in 1971, the New York Times said his "droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country's best-known producer of humorous poetry".
He actually seems to have invented one particular verse form - one I have often utilized,
Which consists of writing long prosaic lines that keep you waiting for the rhyme until you're feeling brutalized.

Pardon Me While I Get Really Angry

This 11 year old girl in Weston, Wisconsin kept getting sicker and sicker.  But her family didn't take her to a doctor.

If they'd taken her to a doc, he would have diagnosed diabetes, and he would have treated her for that condition.

They prayed over her instead.
She's dead.
The mother believes the girl could still be resurrected, the police chief said.
Sometimes, I wish there was a hell,
so I could hear some people yell
while Satan roasts them very well.