April 9th, 2008

But He Looked So Cute

The BBC reports a grisly development:

Germany's celebrity polar bear Knut has triggered a new controversy by fishing out 10 live carp from his moat and killing them in front of visitors.

It's almost like he enjoys it.

The Frankfurter Allgemeine news website reports that Knut "senselessly murdered the carp", fishing them out, playing with them and then leaving the remains.

Against our deepest wishes
He murdered shiny fishes.

What's worse, his ideal meal
Involves a baby seal.

Polygyny Problems

If your religious beliefs mandate that men should have multiple wives, such as in the case of the FLDS in Texas, you have an automatic problem.

The problem is that bundles of joy
come 50/50 as girl or boy.

Not enough women to go around!
Search the compound - they can't be found.

So to satisfy your scriptural hunger
you marry the girls off younger and younger.

As for the boys, well, after a while,
banish them, vanish them, into exile.