August 13th, 2008

Mad Cow Madness

The U.S. now bans the importation of sperm from Europe. This is to stop the spread of Mad Cow disease. Even though Mad Cow has never been known to be travel by that route.

This has created trouble for some women. It seems that imports from Scandinavia were very popular here.
"I think it's outrageous," said Laura, a Los Angeles lawyer who asked that her last name be withheld to protect her privacy. She decided against paying a New York woman more than $2,000 for a few vials from a donor she nicknamed "Sven," whom she used a few years ago to conceive a son. A vial usually costs less than $500. "I'd love to give him a full sibling. But I just couldn't do it. It's so unfortunate."
For some reason, I started wondering how Emily Dickinson would have tackled her plight.

She sought for Sven, fecund and blond,
Whose Babe she'd borne before.
She found their Child wondrous,
And wanted just one more.

But fear of bovine Pestilence
Stampeded through the land,
And vials of Viking DNA
Were soon - by Panic - banned.

Getting Frosted About Tracking Devices

I started thinking about how Robert Frost would have dealt with the story about police sticking GPS trackers on people's vehicles - without warrants!

Who could have put this GPS
upon my sleigh? The cops, I guess.
This small device will let them know
my whereabouts with great success.

They'll learn exactly where I go -
to watch the woods fill up with snow -
I don't think that will help them much
with their investigations though.

They think they have me in a clutch,
still I can play at tricks and such,
and let them think they have me cold,
while I, in fact, am out of touch.

My little horse is weak and old
but he'll head home when he is told,
while I go hiking uncontrolled,
while I go hiking uncontrolled.